Twas The Night Before BowlQuest - Repost
The games start today, The Bahamas Bowl and Frisco Bowl, the first two of 39. This is a post from 2012 with apologies to Clement Moore.
With inspiration from Clement Moore, my version of the holiday classic. Enjoy.
Twas the day before Bowl Quest, when all through the house,
Some people weren’t happy, namely my spouse.
The batteries were fresh, placed in the remote with care,
In hopes that the games would be played with great flair.
The snacks were all nestled, fresh in their bowls,
With visions of burgers grilling over hot coals.
And mama in the kitchen, and me on the couch,
Had settled in to watch and listen to her grouch.
When there on the screen there arose such a clatter,
I jumped up from the sofa to attend to the matter.
Away to the remote I flew like a flash,
Hearing Lou Holtz with his gums he did mash.
And the goon next to Lou with much wind did he blow,
Gave the bluster of May-Day and things he did know.
When, what to my grateful eyes should appear,
But a word from our sponsor and time to run for beer.
With a sip of Wild Turkey, lively and with a kick,
I knew in a moment Mrs. Keith gave the channel a flick.
More rapid than eagles my frustration it came,
She said she didn’t do it, the dog she did blame.
On Hoarders, on Housewives, on Ice and on Coco,
And all those Kardashians, shows that drive me loco.
To the top of the stairs, to the top of the hall,
Get away from my TV and give me football!
As the games were played, the pigskin did fly,
The New Mexico and Potato bowls then said goodbye.
And off were the games for more days than a few,
I’ll wait for the action in five days to return anew.
And then, in a twinkling, of St. Nick I had proof,
The games were back, from DirecTV on the roof.
As I drew to the den, and was adjusting for sound,
My freshmen year sweatshirt in the dog bed was found.
Mrs. Keith sought revenge, the games to give boot,
She does not care for Bowl Quest, not one hoot.
A bundle of my things, she’d flung in a sack,
Said if I kept watching, my bags I could pack.
Her eyes they did flame, her mood not so merry,
Her words were R-rated, her threats getting scary.
Her foul little mouth sounded like Eddie Murphy in Raw,
And then I couldn’t believe the next thing I saw.
The sight of a truck, from Costco did arrive,
My Bowl Quest dream was once again alive.
The driver with a box - long, tall and thin,
A new HDTV for Mrs. Keith was within.
He was pudgy and short, like a Hobbit or elf,
And he brought in the TV, straight to the shelf.
A wink of his eye, and a twenty in his hand,
Soon gave me to know on my couch I would land.
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
33 more games to watch, the remote I did jerk.
And laying my finger to button, the screen did power,
College football games galore, of which I never sour.
The games did play, for my team I’m not humble,
The Spartans take on TCU, hopefully without a fumble.
My neighbors heard me exclaim, as MSU did fight,
Happy Bowl Quest to all and go Green and White!
Friday, December 14, 2012
Twas The Day Before BowlQuest...
Twas the day before Bowl Quest, when all through the house,
Some people weren’t happy, namely my spouse.
The batteries were fresh, placed in the remote with care,
In hopes that the games would be played with great flair.
The snacks were all nestled, fresh in their bowls,
With visions of burgers grilling over hot coals.
And mama in the kitchen, and me on the couch,
Had settled in to watch and listen to her grouch.
When there on the screen there arose such a clatter,
I jumped up from the sofa to attend to the matter.
Away to the remote I flew like a flash,
Hearing Lou Holtz with his gums he did mash.
And the goon next to Lou with much wind did he blow,
Gave the bluster of May-Day and things he did know.
When, what to my grateful eyes should appear,
But a word from our sponsor and time to run for beer.
With a sip of Wild Turkey, lively and with a kick,
I knew in a moment Mrs. Keith gave the channel a flick.
More rapid than eagles my frustration it came,
She said she didn’t do it, the dog she did blame.
On Hoarders, on Housewives, on Ice and on Coco,
And all those Kardashians, shows that drive me loco.
To the top of the stairs, to the top of the hall,
Get away from my TV and give me football!
As the games were played, the pigskin did fly,
The New Mexico and Potato bowls then said goodbye.
And off were the games for more days than a few,
I’ll wait for the action in five days to return anew.
And then, in a twinkling, of St. Nick I had proof,
The games were back, from DirecTV on the roof.
As I drew to the den, and was adjusting for sound,
My freshmen year sweatshirt in the dog bed was found.
Mrs. Keith sought revenge, the games to give boot,
She does not care for Bowl Quest, not one hoot.
A bundle of my things, she’d flung in a sack,
Said if I kept watching, my bags I could pack.
Her eyes they did flame, her mood not so merry,
Her words were R-rated, her threats getting scary.
Her foul little mouth sounded like Eddie Murphy in Raw,
And then I couldn’t believe the next thing I saw.
The sight of a truck, from Costco did arrive,
My Bowl Quest dream was once again alive.
The driver with a box - long, tall and thin,
A new HDTV for Mrs. Keith was within.
He was pudgy and short, like a Hobbit or elf,
And he brought in the TV, straight to the shelf.
A wink of his eye, and a twenty in his hand,
Soon gave me to know on my couch I would land.
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
33 more games to watch, the remote I did jerk.
And laying my finger to button, the screen did power,
College football games galore, of which I never sour.
The games did play, for my team I’m not humble,
The Spartans take on TCU, hopefully without a fumble.
My neighbors heard me exclaim, as MSU did fight,
Happy Bowl Quest to all and go Green and White!
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